Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I could fuck to npr.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
