Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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