If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
