did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
