you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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