We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
