She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
