Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
