Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
