i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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