I'm so fucking centered right now
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
