So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
