OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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