How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize