remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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