I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
