O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
high people should be assigned attendants
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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