that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
