Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
