I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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