yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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