I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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