i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
