i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
