Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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