THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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