Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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