Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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