good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
