Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
