He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
