There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
