He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
