your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
