Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
