"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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