I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
