I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
