hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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