there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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