i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
