Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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