I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
