How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
