Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
