Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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