sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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