You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
vagina is talking i cant
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Randomize
