I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
