Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize