My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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