If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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