Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
