omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
