you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
