i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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