You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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