I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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