dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
honey bunches of taint.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
