well I can't set my house on fire every night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
