Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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